


James 4:17

by WhyWhyNot



Series: Three Wise Monkeys [37]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Corruption, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Morality, Nightmares, Trauma, Vigilantism, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:05:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19026982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyWhyNot/pseuds/WhyWhyNot
Summary: Santino thinks about the violence in his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ceterisparibus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceterisparibus/gifts).



Something Matt and Claire occasionally seem to forget is, Santino knew what he was getting into.

He did find Matt dying in a dumpster after all.

Santino likes being friend with Matt, and Claire, and Melvin. They’re nice, and help him when his mother disappears for days without a word, or when his homework is hard, or just when his computer stops working.

\---

Santino has nightmares sometimes.

He dreams of the first night, when he met Matt (when he met the Devil). He dreams of finding a man in a dumpster, of getting Claire to help. He dreams of her putting her hand on his neck, and shaking her head at the lack of pulse. He dreams of _I need you to help me hide the body, Santino_ , of blood drying on trash and cold, clammy skin. (Sometimes, Claire removes the mask. Sometimes, the corpse has Nobu’s face.)

He dreams of the night Claire called him, when Matt brushed with death once more. He dreams of Claire calling him from an unknown number in the middle of the night and rattling an address, of Matt (the Devil then, Santino didn’t know him yet) lying wounded on his sofa. He dreams of _I need you to help me hide the body_ , of cold, sticky blood on his fingers and the smell of charred _meat_. (Sometimes, it’s Nobu on the sofa. Sometimes, the corpse is Matt’s.)

He dreams of the night he was taken, along with Ana and Luis. He dreams of being locked in a container, of a man with a gun guarding the door. He dreams of hot piss running down his legs, of the feeling of a trachea crushed under his hand, of a razor blade cutting too easily through flesh. He dreams of the sickening pride when the man fell, of looking for a pulse and finding none. (Sometimes, Matt doesn’t comfort him afterwards. Sometimes, Matt and Melvin and Claire speak to him with disgust on their faces and tell him to leave and never come back.)

\---

Santino knows there are consequences to his place behind the Devil. He already encountered some of them.

The nightmares are only part of it.

There’s also, Santino thinks, the time he had what he is _pretty sure_ was a panic attack in the schools bathroom.

There’s the constant stress, the eternal fear, in the back of his head, that Matt is going to die, that Claire will be tortured again, that the cops will knock on the door and arrest him. The way he looked into poisons, into self-defense, into homemade bombs wasn’t only overenthusiasm. The way he obsessively prepares pie after pie isn’t only a taste for baking.

There’s the lying, to his mother and friends, about what he did yesterday, on the weekend, about what he will do tonight.

\---

It’s still worth it.

\---

They’re _friends_. 

\---

The other thing is, Santino believes in what the Devil does.

(Over half the cops at the 15th were arrested for being on Fisk’s payroll. He doesn’t believe for a second those who stayed or took their place are any more honest.)

(It’s the Devil who took Fisk down, not them.)

(The night he got kidnapped, it wasn’t because of the Devil. As far as the world was concerned, he was just a teenager trying to get home with friends. And maybe the Devil didn’t directly saved him, but he still helped more than anyone else.)

\---

The night Nelson found out, Santino was there. When he screamed at Matt about lies and pity and betrayal, he heard.

When he talked about choosing a non-violent solution, about doing things by the book, by following the law, he heard too.

\---

Using a non-violent solution is all well and good, but talking wouldn’t have saved Santino on the docks, wouldn’t have brought back the boy the Ranskahovs took. You can’t do things by the book if the book has been brought by your enemies. Legal doesn’t mean just, or moral, or right.

Santino doesn’t like violence, and the law is a beautiful ideal. But some people have to live in the real world


	2. Chapter 2

Justice scales


End file.
